Well, our dinner party never happened, the guests had to cancel last minute, a family issue. Oh well, it was good for us to spend time together with our kitties, and enjoy each other's company.
We went to Ikea on Saturday, and spent part of Sunday putting together our purchases. I really like building things with him, and working together - there's no competition, no challenging, just collaboration and cooperation - wow!
It was good to get busy, especially on Sunday. I was getting on the very edge of blue, I miss my daughter desperately, and it's her 20th birthday tomorrow. I haven't heard anything from her in more than 3 months, and it's worse than downright aggression. Not knowing what's going on is more painful than anything she might have to say to me. I email her regularly, and comment on her Facebook occasionally, and try to stay in touch without being annoying, I know she hates my life right now, but she doesn't really KNOW my life right now,so how can she hate it? sigh, it really, really bothers me. Sometimes I can't decide which is more destructive... the crushing sadness about it, or the boiling anger that sometimes bubbles up. I had to go to Staples today, to get some things for the house and office. Seeing all those kids getting their school supplies made me very sad and nostalgic for those simpler days, when she and I would head to Staples to pick out this year's binders, notebooks and stuff. Sigh. Well, she's a college girl now, and has her own life. That's what I'm supposed to want as a good mother, right? Our little girl's turning into independently thinking and confident, intelligent young women, right? Well, I guess I got my wish. Too bad it seems to have come with total dissatisfaction of my parenting skills.
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